Bad Ways to Wake Up #5

Scary noises! So, Crazy Cat Lady moved out of the upstairs apartment about two weeks ago. I’ve been enjoying the peace and quiet for however long it lasts. As I was tossing and turning last night (wide awake as usual), around 3:30am there was the loudest thud that came directly from the bedroom upstairs from me. It sounded like something very heavy was dropped on the floor and it made me jump – my heart was pounding like crazy. Being the middle of the night, my head was thinking of all the scariest possibilities for the source of the noise. Ghost! Serial killer! New neighbors! In the light of day I figure it was probably something that maintenance left up there that fell over. Right? RIGHT? Anyway, since I wasn’t technically asleep it wasn’t technically a Bad Way to Wake Up, but I was trying to sleep and that certainly didn’t help. It was about 5am before I dozed off after that. Thanks a lot, New Neighbor Who Happens To Be A Serial Killer Ghost.

Craving the Life of the Dreamless

Ugh. I hate that I’m posting about dreams, but this is not about any specific dream. It’s a general bitchfest about constant dreaming. One of the features of my as-yet-unnamed sleep disorder is that I remember more than my fair share of dreams. It isn’t fun and after 34 years I’m so over it. I have heard people say to me before that they wish they remembered more of their dreams and I can’t help but think they should be careful for what they wish. There is nothing endearing about waking up without feeling at all rested because you were engaged most of the night in useless, random brain activity like clinging to the top of an elevator with your sister because you missed getting on board like the regular people and the tower is falling RIGHT NOW! Whether the dreams are good or bad, they are always vivid and will stay with me for at least a couple of hours after waking up. I long for the rare nights when I fall into a dreamless sleep and wake up with no memory of what my brain was up to while I was virtually comatose. And I am envious of those who can experience that pretty much every night. I’ve had enough of being haunted. Anyone want to trade brains for a few days? : )

Bad Ways to Wake Up #4

Wind chimes! Look, I get that I live in an apartment and there are certain obnoxious behaviors that I have to accept from my neighbors. But seriously, Crazy Cat Lady, why do your stupid chimes have to be hanging on the side of your balcony that is right above my bedroom? We live in a city that frequently sees ridiculously strong winds and no – it ain’t music – it’s just NOISE. When there are 35-40mph wind gusts happening, could you have a little consideration for your neighbors, please? I finally manage to fall asleep for a couple of hours only to be rudely awakened by the toneless clanking of metal less than 15 feet from my head. Why, Crazy Cat Lady, why?

Bad Ways To Wake Up #3

Itchy! It appears I am allergic to something somewhere in my home that is causing me to itch like crazy from scalp to toes. I’ve been scratching my skin so hard in my sleep that I wake up bleeding. While I’m trying to identify the culprit, I am living on antihistamines. At least they make me a little drowsy. Glass half-full? : )

Creature Comforts #3

Black-out curtains! And/or black-out curtain liners. I utilize both, personally. All of the windows in my home face west which means this place feels like the surface of the sun around 5pm in the summer. So to minimize my electric bill and make my bedroom pitch black I invested in these brilliant inventions that actually work! When I want the light, I pull them back and when I want sleep that is not interrupted by intrusive security lights and the encroaching dawn, I close them up. They don’t actually help me fall asleep in any way, but for those nights when I don’t doze off until 5 or 6am, these babies are invaluable. It’s simple, inexpensive, and quite effective. I bought mine online from Target. Solid purchase.

Acupuncture, or Lack Thereof

Some months back I decided to try acupuncture for my insomnia. I only briefly researched this as a potential cure, but since western medicine has failed me miserably I will try just about anything these days. I didn’t have to search far because there was a place right around the corner from my home that offered the treatment so I made an appointment and went in to willingly lie on a table and have dozens of needles poked into my skin, including the top of my head. It actually wasn’t painful at all and gave me a great feeling of relaxation. I also really liked my acupuncturist, who is about my age and unfailingly optimistic. (Yeah, I know that’s totally the opposite of me, but I want people who treat me to believe in what they do, okay?) She told me that acupuncture for insomnia is a long-term treatment and that with each progressive visit I would sleep more. The night of the first visit I did sleep better than usual, but I would say it was no better than if I had gone to get a really good massage. The second visit went a little better than the first, but only by a couple of nights more sleep. I thought any progress was better than none, and Lynn told me not to be discouraged and these things take time. Then she packed her bags and moved to Albuquerque. Seriously. I drove by the place a couple of weeks after my second visit and it was all closed up and dark. I emailed Lynn and she told me she could no longer practice because the treatment was taking too much out of her and her health was beginning to suffer. I can’t very well be mad at her for that. She stays in touch with most of her clients by phone and email and advises us on our various health issues. I still use her website to buy some of the most amazing tea I’ve ever swallowed and she calls to ask how I am doing and tell me what I can do better. Some of her advice has been helpful and some, not so much, but she always says never to give up and comes up with new things for me to try all the time (a service she offers for free!). As for the acupuncture, I still have no idea if that’s an effective treatment for insomnia. Lynn was conveniently located around the corner and I don’t really know where else to go right now. If I find someone else, maybe there will be a post called Acupuncture II, Return To Needleland. Or maybe something way more clever than that.

Good Ways To Wake Up #2

At a dear friend’s house, in a comfy bed, sleeping in late. I can hear the footsteps of the kids running around the house and smell a yummy breakfast waiting for me when I finally decide to roll out of bed. Good times.